Laurens quickly became an internet sensation, youtubers interviewed him for a scoop and news channels came to him for a laugh. He was even invited to more than one Late Night show. Being kidnaped by avocados was the ultimate weirdness.
Now, you must know that the world had became a strange place. Years ago the inexplicable news of a runaway pear with legs floaded the web, and everything changed, fruits were now known to have all sorts of crazy mutations. For some reason, though, no vegetables, nor other kinds of foods suffered the same condition. Scientist were absolutely baffled and marveled with this phenomenon, they were hunting for mutated fruits everywhere to test the specimen and understand this new "evolution".
Vegans, on the other hand, were apalled by this fact, they were rallying to race awareness of the new condition of fruits. But they were also deeply concerned, what would they eat now? If fruit had grew conciousness, should they concider them to be animals of some sort? Truly horrified with this train of thought, an extremist all veganian wing started to promote a none fruit consumption agenda. Little by little, as new mutations kept showing up online, their diet became significally reduced.
In this crazy enviroment, a video found the international spotlight:
A black screen, with lots of off voices screaming, ran for a few seconds, "We're here to rule! We're here to rule!", they chanted in chorus, "humans fuck off! Humans fuck off!"
- ¡Aguacaaateeees! ¡Aguacates del mundo! Avocados of the world! Listen! - The camera opened the shot to the image of a big black avocado standing behind a podium with a pair of googly eyes attached to his skin, a big natural mouth with thick lips. Behind him, nothing but a black courtain. He spoke with a potent voice, resolved, convinced, strong.
- We came to this country in abox. and we were locked up in a truck for days, traveling through the world without knowing where we were going, mistreated, mishandeled, like barganing products... You how it feels! - He made a pause and his followers cheered. - You! Our frutty brothers, sisters, friends... You know! Our family from other trees. Humans take us out of our homes, they put us in boxes, send us around the world, they treat us as plastic fruits, they eat us! - The other voices screamed in horror. - But now... now, my sisters, brothers, friends, now we are awake! Now, we are aware! - The speaker moved and his googly eyes giggled. - Now we feel! And now, now we move! - He rose his voice even more and his followers cheered even more. - This is our time friends, brothers and sisters, this is our moment to break free from humanity, to grow on our own, this is our time to blossom! My fruitty family, unite! Come to us, find us, let's make tis world, our world, let's claim our place in the food chain! Join us!
A big military green flag fell on the background, it had white letters around what it seemed to be an avocado seed crossed by two machineguns: Jackass Avocado Army, Free fruits!
And now the camera pointed at the crowd in front of the avocado leader, dozens of avocados with all kinds of mutations where jumping, cheering, screaming, dancing, throwing punches... The video ended with a link to a sign up website.
I clicked the link, I'm not a fruit, of course, but my reporter instinct and my curiosity wanted to know what was on the other side. It was insane! An animation presented the JAA logo and the message "Join us!" in different languages. Then the layout of the main page presented the profile of Cesar Awak Ate, something as a Facebook profile with a cute picture of him with the JAA's flag behind, and a little bio like this:
Cesar Awak Ate
From the fields of Michoacan, Mexico. Our great leader was born in an old avocado tree near Patzcuaro. Since he was a little bloom, he dreamt about fruit freedom. He inspires us to be the best fruits we can be and wishes to build a country, a world, where we fruits can be free to live our lives as we want them, without human ruling. He was trained by the paramilitary rural police in Michoacan.
I clicked on the Fruity Profiles. And there they were... All the internet sensations of a few months back, the runaway pear, the singing tomato, the fighting tejocote. All of them with their profile pictures, special abilities, places of origin, likes and dislikes. It looked like a dating site or a Facebook for fruits. I started wondering how these fruit could open their profiles, I mean, moste of them didn't even had hands. I thought, perhaps they used a dictaphone app or something like that. I needed to know. I started looking for a way to contact this guys, it was time somebody tell the whole story.
Now, you must know that the world had became a strange place. Years ago the inexplicable news of a runaway pear with legs floaded the web, and everything changed, fruits were now known to have all sorts of crazy mutations. For some reason, though, no vegetables, nor other kinds of foods suffered the same condition. Scientist were absolutely baffled and marveled with this phenomenon, they were hunting for mutated fruits everywhere to test the specimen and understand this new "evolution".
Vegans, on the other hand, were apalled by this fact, they were rallying to race awareness of the new condition of fruits. But they were also deeply concerned, what would they eat now? If fruit had grew conciousness, should they concider them to be animals of some sort? Truly horrified with this train of thought, an extremist all veganian wing started to promote a none fruit consumption agenda. Little by little, as new mutations kept showing up online, their diet became significally reduced.
In this crazy enviroment, a video found the international spotlight:
A black screen, with lots of off voices screaming, ran for a few seconds, "We're here to rule! We're here to rule!", they chanted in chorus, "humans fuck off! Humans fuck off!"
- ¡Aguacaaateeees! ¡Aguacates del mundo! Avocados of the world! Listen! - The camera opened the shot to the image of a big black avocado standing behind a podium with a pair of googly eyes attached to his skin, a big natural mouth with thick lips. Behind him, nothing but a black courtain. He spoke with a potent voice, resolved, convinced, strong.
- We came to this country in abox. and we were locked up in a truck for days, traveling through the world without knowing where we were going, mistreated, mishandeled, like barganing products... You how it feels! - He made a pause and his followers cheered. - You! Our frutty brothers, sisters, friends... You know! Our family from other trees. Humans take us out of our homes, they put us in boxes, send us around the world, they treat us as plastic fruits, they eat us! - The other voices screamed in horror. - But now... now, my sisters, brothers, friends, now we are awake! Now, we are aware! - The speaker moved and his googly eyes giggled. - Now we feel! And now, now we move! - He rose his voice even more and his followers cheered even more. - This is our time friends, brothers and sisters, this is our moment to break free from humanity, to grow on our own, this is our time to blossom! My fruitty family, unite! Come to us, find us, let's make tis world, our world, let's claim our place in the food chain! Join us!
A big military green flag fell on the background, it had white letters around what it seemed to be an avocado seed crossed by two machineguns: Jackass Avocado Army, Free fruits!
And now the camera pointed at the crowd in front of the avocado leader, dozens of avocados with all kinds of mutations where jumping, cheering, screaming, dancing, throwing punches... The video ended with a link to a sign up website.
I clicked the link, I'm not a fruit, of course, but my reporter instinct and my curiosity wanted to know what was on the other side. It was insane! An animation presented the JAA logo and the message "Join us!" in different languages. Then the layout of the main page presented the profile of Cesar Awak Ate, something as a Facebook profile with a cute picture of him with the JAA's flag behind, and a little bio like this:
Cesar Awak Ate
From the fields of Michoacan, Mexico. Our great leader was born in an old avocado tree near Patzcuaro. Since he was a little bloom, he dreamt about fruit freedom. He inspires us to be the best fruits we can be and wishes to build a country, a world, where we fruits can be free to live our lives as we want them, without human ruling. He was trained by the paramilitary rural police in Michoacan.
I clicked on the Fruity Profiles. And there they were... All the internet sensations of a few months back, the runaway pear, the singing tomato, the fighting tejocote. All of them with their profile pictures, special abilities, places of origin, likes and dislikes. It looked like a dating site or a Facebook for fruits. I started wondering how these fruit could open their profiles, I mean, moste of them didn't even had hands. I thought, perhaps they used a dictaphone app or something like that. I needed to know. I started looking for a way to contact this guys, it was time somebody tell the whole story.
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